An Unfriendly Mirror

I don’t like to catch sight of myself in an unfriendly mirror.

My best friend mirror lives in my bathroom. We finish each other’s sentences – we’re that close! Just yesterday I caught sight of myself in the barber shop. I usually don’t mind the mirror at the barber shop as I am extremely myopic stopping short just this side of legally blind. Anyway, glasses must come off for a haircut. A clean lens is a hair magnet. I’m usually prepared when it’s time to survey the damage – I just stick to the back of the skull and sides. But yesterday my guard was down. That’s my receding hairline all right but, wait a minute, who is that fat saggy face-like-a-constipated-bulldog attached and depending from the front of it? Me? Ugh.

I’m buying a trimmer. I’ll gladly give up the hypnotic combs swirling in blue water to see a familiar friendly face back home in the bathroom.