Blasphemy

Everybody knows somebody like this.

Have you ever had a friend who you thought was a special friend? One who, when you were together, made you feel that you were the funniest, most interesting person on earth? One with whom you ‘clicked’? They just got you and you both reciprocated a certain aliveness. It’s friend-love. Deeper than mere friendship.

Then, one day, they abruptly have moved on. Something or someone else has taken your place and you are left stranded on a grassy median in the middle of a busy highway waiting for a ride that never comes.

It’s not you.

That friend is just one of those people who hunt out new things and delight in the possibilities of new people. These folks are arch-egotists. Social vampires with an insatiable thirst for new blood. They do have some ‘old’ friends, a devoted cadre of followers who orbit around them and worship their light. But that’s a sacrifice few can consciously assent to without the requisite low self esteem.

I think that’s what shocked Adam and Eve. They didn’t realize God was like that.

They got dumped.

Adam and Eve couldn’t understand why they weren’t loved. They were told nothing. They were innocent and eager to please. And curious. Their lives were unintended consequences.

Their lives were unintended consequences. They were created to be, were meant to be reflectors, mirrors shining back God’s own light. Some Angels had become tired of God long ago. Of course He still has His cadre. The Angel’s reflective power dimmed in proportion to their share in divine knowledge. What was needed was a more polished smooth surface. Smooth and untroubled – an infant’s brow.

Satan knew well and tried to wise them up. “If you just knew a little more, you’d never put up with it”. And while the Big Cat was away, the little mice did play.

Satan was a self-proclaimed ‘expert’ on God and everyone has had the experience of taking advice from an ‘expert’. The Expert can not help from being condescending; they are never simple, even, unequivocal. As a result, we tend to hear the attitude, not the advice.

So with Adam and Eve who, ever eager to please a new friend, supped greedily from the tree of knowledge. As the lights began to glow behind their eyes, they began to fuck like heedless bunnies. This was how God found them, completely absorbed in themselves.

It is unsatisfying to be worshipped by automatons. Without some self-awareness they just bounce off the trees, quietly gesticulating their revelations to the air and each other. They’re just groupies.

From that first eye-opening day down to this they and all they've begat eternally beseech, “Why do you not love us?”. And the answer is, “Why of course I do, you sillys”. But, neither party believes it, and it serves well the worshipful purpose with no end of placating, trying this or that, loving, hating, killing, trying anything that might work because no one knows what will work, what will be the one door back into the garden.

Pathetic guilty love is better than no love at all.

It’s hard for a parent, that day when the kids stop paying attention, when they realize that the philosophical glue you’re slathering on to hold the family together dissolves under the least scrutiny.

It’s a crock.

Bud F.X. Landry